Holiday season

•November 30, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I am so politically correct!

This time of year is always interesting because home as I knew it growing up is no longer existing.  It’s been relocated, and is no longer surrounded by the friends I have known for years and years.  It now has an obligatory Thanksgiving trip to Michigan instead of a giant Asian potluck.  I suppose it is nice to have some peace and quiet, though even the perks of being in Columbus weren’t really there as I barely got to see Melissa aside from another difficult conversation with the parents.

It’s looking more and more likely that our wedding is going to be pushed to October at earliest.  It feels really awful when you feel like you’ve put in so much time and energy into something and don’t come out with the resolution you were looking for, especially when it means a lot to you.  It got a little ugly this time as I got frustrated as Melissa’s dad kept talking like it was assumed our wedding was in December when I still really want a summer wedding and I still believe it’s quite feasible.  It was said that Melissa shouldn’t spend any heart or time in planning a wedding when she needs to finish college strong in regards to her academic performance… which drives me crazy because life never really slows down anyway, and while I agree she should work hard her last two quarters, two quarters of GPA will not actually have that much impact on her cumulative.

I got kind of worked up because I felt like it was ridiculous that they were painting a July wedding to be so impossible and I had been saying we wanted July ever since August and would have moved on things by now if it hadn’t been dragged out.  Then my mom got embarrassed and started yelling at me for not giving in, and we pretty much closed the conversation.  It makes me feel really awful when I see all my other friends smoothly moving through their wedding plans and I can’t even get a date down.  There aren’t really that many things throughout a year that I want, but it seems the thing I want the most is being withheld from me.

So that was how I kicked off my holiday season.

On a more meaningless note, the last level of New Super Mario Bros Wii is stupidly hard.  David, Jay, (Jes towards the end), and I played the last level for probably close to 2 hours and didn’t beat it.  We got a glimpse of Princess Peach’s cage but fell into the smoldering lava before we could get there.

I played some piano on Friday while I was at home, and found that my wrists are no longer up for the challenge.  After a little bit, they started getting really tired.  I also found that it would take quite a bit of work for me to get used to singing while playing non-sheet music.  I’m pretty sure playing along with a worship team wouldn’t be too much of a problem for me, but the singing pretty much screwed everything up.  Too bad I’ll probably never really get a chance to work on that d=

Need to do shopping soon… yay…

My dad was in one of my dreams last night… been a while since I’ve seen his face… sigh.

Rummaging

•October 27, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Been rummaging through the crap on my computer… will probably need to back it up soon as I would like to migrate to Windows 7…

Stumbled across this which I guess I wrote a while back…

“losing you has changed my track
like a story changing authors,
starting anew and never looking back
swept clean like bare floors,
you were taken from me
leaving me to wonder with you here now, where would i be?

another year has come and passed
more gain, less pain, but never the same
our time together shattered like glass
there won’t be one more tennis game
no more wake-up calls,
no more saving me, taking care of me after my falls

i’ve grown up now, learning how
to suffer, to love, to take a shove
to heal, to mend, to lend a hand
but i can’t help but wonder where i’d be
if you were still watching me..”

It’s coming up on 9 years since my dad passed away… it seems like a lifetime ago… time heals wounds, but the scars still remain…

Open to the Public

•October 20, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Dundundun…  I’ve decided to open my slow-moving blog to the public, though more personal posts will be under password protection.  If you would like to apply for access to this password, let me know.  d=

In the fast-paced life I am accustomed to these days, it’s all too easy to skip time to process the things I’m learning in life, so as a part of a series of habit changes I’m hoping to make, spending some time to journal once a week is on my list.

Was reading postsecret this morning, it’s always interesting to get some insight on how other people look at Christianity on the internet.  If you ever spend time reading reddit, you’ll find many “devout” (I know, ironic right?) atheists who hate Christianity and will go on forever about it…  It’s hard for me to engage in it sometimes, but I think it’s important to have perspective on how the non-Christian world thinks, otherwise how are we supposed to understand where they’re coming from?  But anyway, back to postsecret…

The one that really stuck out to me this week was this:

postsecret

So often when Christians start dating a non-Christian, they decide to do it even though they know they shouldn’t, and when things get messy they use God as a reason to escape.  It makes me sad when I wonder in what ways someone who’s had this experience has had a long-lasting and even permanent scar in their perception of God.  When we make bad decisions we generally suffer from the consequences, but if we don’t think about how our decisions could impact someone’s perspective of God, we may as well be preaching against the Gospel…

Managing any relationship is tough… when I’m at work feeling grumpy, it’s hard to have grace and love for coworkers when I’m constantly being asked questions (like today)… but all we can do is ask God for help and reach towards love d=

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